Massage Hilarity and Facebook

My wife’s massage therapist is a short, 25 year old, misguided man.  I don’t care much for massages, but I am interested in her stories upon the return.

Her massage therapist asked for her approval of his mustache.  I believe my wife to be a woman of  integrity, honor, and honesty.  Her response was, “Get rid of it.”

This man then transitioned to speaking of his love for riding horses while on vacation in Ocean Shores, “Just like a disc jockey”.  Since he is four feet tall, my wife asked him if he meant a jockey, as opposed to a disc jockey.  He responded by saying, “The ones that ride horses.”

My wife, discerning as she is, responded, “Have you ever ridden a horse?”


Embarrassingly and honestly, the man said “No. I don’t have any intention of riding it.  I just want my picture taken on one so I can put it on my Facebook page.”

Sometimes, Facebook and horses can make you laugh.


Commonly, I have made fun of “FACEBOOK”.  My mother, Margaret, and brother, Glenn, won’t know this term, but everyone else in the civilized world will know what facebook is.  Therefore, I won’t go into further detail.  I will, however, provide this blog as though it were facebook worthy.  There will be quotes from famous authors.  I will talk about my weekend.  I will, once again, mention one of my many brothers who are perhaps making you weary. Additionally, there may be a picture of someone you don’t give a shit about.  Fortunately for you, we don’t have children.  Baseball will, of course, be utilized as a stupid analogy for anything… even if it’s in reference to lobster, neighbors, tic tack toe, or gambling.

Here we go.  Britt, my wife, and Tom, my brother, and I spent a glorious last weekend in Seattle.  We cooked wonderful food, dined at local establishments, attended a ballgame, visited the farmer’s market, walked through Lincoln Park, pissed in the neighbor’s yard, developed resumes, and most importantly, played pinball at a place called Shorty’s.  It isn’t a place for dwarfs, gnomes or midgets, just a cute name for a pinball bar where old school games we used to play at 7 elevens during the late 1970’s go to survive. Isn’t this intriguing?

Some face bookers need to get a lesson from this.  If you cut yourself shaving, no one cares.  If you’re cheating on your wife, no one wants to know.  If your son or daughter is playing a soccer game on any given Saturday, your friends will run for the hills.

Tom provided a wonderful point this last weekend.  He gave me terrific feedback concerning one of my posts.  Brother Tom kindly said, “I like your writing, but did you have any point with the post “Baseball and Couches”?  He was dead on.  Not only did he have a point, but I was embarrassed because I had no point.  Additional embarrassment manifested from the basic fact I wasn’t drunk when I wrote that piece of shit.  At least, that could have been an excuse.

Back to Facebook and points:  Here lies my ultimate point.  John Steinbeck once delivered fabulously simple words in the book, Of Mice and Men.  He articulated, far better than me, an idea which made some sense.   Within the novel, the character known as Crooks, an extremely lonely black stable man stated, “Books ain’t no good”.  People need people. Personally, I’m not a facebook type of guy, but now I understand why it helps just to say something to someone….face to face, e-mail, or Facebook. Even if no one really cares, or they don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, social interaction makes all of us feel a little better.

Keep facebooking