With the Kentucky Derby running on its last stretch of degenerate gamblers, I’d like to give you the names before the odds. If you wish to place a bet with me, you can visit www.youaregoingtolose.com..

1. Elon (Owner owns an electric Horse)
2. amazon.com (the owner will be watching from Mars)
3. Don’t Touch Me (owned by a group of 1000 flight attendants)
4. Top Gun (owner: Shirtless Tom Cruise and some male beach volleyball enthusiasts)
5. Bitch Slap (owner: Good Will Smith)
6. BitchSetMeUp (Owner: Marion Barry)
7. My Family Matters (Owner: Tom Brady)
8. MyFamilyDoesn’tMatter: (Owner: Tom Brady)
9. SayMyName: (Owner: Walter White)
10. YouShould@#$%Me! (Owner: Mel Gibson)
11. Boring (Owner: Joe Biden). with due respect.. “and it’s Boring by a nose!”
12. SmithAndHestin: (I think we all know the owner…..Tom Selleck)
13. Don’t Say Gay (owner: Florida)
14. Manscaping (owner: millionaire, and former jockey, Jose Sasquatch)
15. I’m Weird (owner: Johnny Depp)
16. I’m Angry (owner: Johnny Depp)
17. I’m Drunk (owner: Johnny Depp)
18. You’re Fired: (owner: George Steinbrenner Jr.)
19. DelBocaVista (owner: Seinfeld’s parents and his uncle Leo)
20. Yada Yada Yada