This is dedicated to The John of Wellingsons. (He is one our neighbors.)
Before my wife and I traveled to Scotland, my now ex friend, John, told me to try the haggis. This is basically intestines, the heart, and lungs from a sheep. I thought I had to at least try it because it is a Scottish staple. It looks as dreadful as it tastes, but I worked it down my gullet as though I needed to get a free pass for escaping a Scottish prison. It went into my mouth tasting of feces, and it left my body as black volcanic lava for an entire day. Cheers, you J-hole!