Microsoft Bullies

This may come as a surprise to many of my friends, relatives and anyone who knows me,but I am not a wizard when it comes to computer skills.  As embarrassing as that was to say, it is a relief to get that off my separated shoulder blades.  It’s an admission of guilt making my week much better. (I wish my friend, Jack, could admit his lack of computer skills….he would feel much better as well.)

Guys like Jack and I are old school.  We like to write quietly on paper and talk in ALL CAPS.  Isn’t that how Ted “the dead” Roosevelt said it?  Anyway, that’s just not the way it works these days. Sometimes, you must conform.

While struggling with my computer this morning, somewhat angrily, I summoned my wife, fortunately ill today to assist me with minor problems so I could accomplish something on this day besides picking up dog crap. As usual, she happily allowed a computer simpleton to feel a bit better regarding his skills.

Quite seriously, I just don’t know computers.  Sometimes, I know how to write, but my critics respond to me about not knowing what an RSS, VPS, CCR, VCR or STD really is.  I do know about one of them.  All but one intimidates me.  The other one embarrasses me. I hate to be embarrassed. This leads me to the point.

Frustrated with the computer, my wife led me on a mysterious path only three or thirteen people know how to navigate on this planet.  She instructed me that invisible Icons do, in fact, exist.  For those of you who don’t know what an Icon is, it is a picture which you can click on telling you to go here or there, much like a Dr. Suess book.  It’s simple, fun and easy.  This other button was much like finding the elusive Sasquatch.  It’s fun, but not simple nor easy. It shouldn’t exist unless you find the dead body, or in this case, scroll down to the bottom of the screen to an invisible icon notifying you have done something stupid.  My computer situation was rectified.  My issues with Microsoft Bullies was not.  They are laughing at me right now.  They know I played baseball and football, and they seem pleased to destroy my level of semi intelligence.

When my wife was describing these problems, I was blown away by her computer knowledge.  Therefore, I asked a simple question when finding this invisible icon.  “How the Hell was I supposed to find that”?  Her reply:  “Don’t worry, I took 13 classes on operating systems, and some of these smart guys are just trying to F with guys like you.”

I was never a bully, but I do sometimes feel threatened by those with higher intellects.

Oh, and by the way, if I ever run into any of you Microsoft Bullies, I will beat the crap out of you until you give me the secrets to using this machine.

Love and kisses,


12 thoughts on “Microsoft Bullies

  1. Gannon!
    Its been 6 years since you made me put in all of your grades because you didn’t know how to work skyword, and you still don’t know how to use a computer?
    I hope all is well!


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