Fear and Stealing in Seattle

I am guilty of many crimes.  They are all just mildly and wildly stupid.  Today, I committed a crime.  I stole a dog and a ladder.  Stealing is really something I don’t do well.  In fact, I’m completely against it, but when our two dogs are wagging and begging to see a friendly neighborhood dog, I just can’t help myself from opening and entering through the neighbor’s back gate.  Opening and entering sounds far more decent than breaking and entering.  I didn’t break anything….other than the law.

Bo,  our neighborhood friendly dog, also affectionately known as Bobafet, Bobafettish, Bobo Brayton, or Botox  was allowed, by me, to exit his backyard.  He is safely hidden in our basement.  Actually, he is currently playing in our backyard with our friendly dogs.  Bo is a wonderful guy.  Our dogs express that fact to me daily.

Crime number two:  “Stealing a Ladder”. The owners of Bo, the dog, received a gift from me earlier this summer.  It is an extremely tall ladder.  I provided that gift because, being ridiculously afraid of heights and gutters, getting rid of that ladder and hiring someone to clean gutters seemed like the right thing to do.  My wife wasn’t necessarily pleased with my decision.  Before our wedded bliss, she purchased this firefighter like ladder for a mere sum of money I don’t wish to disclose.  It’s huge.  I don’t mind throwing or giving away crap that’s mine, but I probably shouldn’t give things to people which I didn’t purchase.  So, the right thing to do is steal it from the person you provided it to, right??  Reluctant to steal anything, I was forced purchase a 13 foot tree to commit the crime.  Unless I became “Spiderman”, there was no way to place the star on our Christmas Tree. Stealing that ladder was the only option.

If my children, friends, neighbors, dogs, cats or wife are starving, I will steal a loaf of bread.  That’s just the way I roll.

Sorry, John.  Bo is heading back home, but will you PLEASE steal our ladder back.

16 thoughts on “Fear and Stealing in Seattle

  1. Hi, Neat post.A little something special problem with your site in ie, would follow through IE is still this marketplace leader and also a large part of people will miss your magnificent writing because of this problem.

  2. I was very encouraged to find this site. The reason being that this is such an informative post. I wanted to thank you for this good read of the subject. I ate every bit of it and I submitted your site to some of the biggest social networks so others can find your blog.

  3. You might be so cool! I dont suppose Concerning read anything similar to this before. So excellent to obtain anyone with a bit of unique ideas on this subject. Realy appreciate your starting this up. this great site is one thing thats wanted on the internet, somebody which has a bit originality. useful task for bringing new stuff online!

  4. Nice post. I used to be checking constantly this weblog and I am inspired! Very useful information particularly the closing part 🙂 I take care of such info much. I was seeking this particular information for a long time. Thanks and best of luck.

  5. Many thanks for an incredible post, can see your others topics. i appreciate your notions on this, I experienced a bit thump by this post. Merit again! You make a great moment. Has excellent data here. I feel if more people consideration for it like that, they’d have got a better time have the suspend ofing the matter.

  6. Took me time to understand all of the comments, but I seriously enjoyed the write-up. It proved being really helpful to me and Im positive to all of the commenters right here! Its constantly nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I am certain you had enjoyable writing this write-up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *