In many households throughout the civilized world, Christmas cards or letters are being written, sent, received and, sadly, made fun of everywhere by ungrateful jerks like me. Perhaps this is why I don’t send or receive many of them any longer.
Three years ago, a dear friend sent me an envelope during the holiday season. A Santa Clause stamp was strategically placed upon the upper right hand side of the envelope, and the address was a spot on match of his wife’s penmanship. With the envelope arriving safely to our home, I was expecting to find a photo of their two children pissing on Santa’s pants. While opening it, I searched for the perfect magnet for attaching it to our refrigerator. The envelope was empty. Brilliant. Perfection! I laughed my tail off, wishing this was deliberate. After taping the envelope to our refrigerator, I later called my friend to thank him for the envelope. He then asked me if I laughed at the picture of their two sons squeezing Santa’s Jingle Balls. Much like the empty envelope providing me joy, my only response was laughter. His wife, sending out dozens of Christmas Cards that year, simply forgot to include a card or picture in ours. The 2014 Holiday envelope again hangs proudly from our refrigerator.