Most earthlings not using the Mayan calendar, including myself, have missed out on so much happening during this month. Let’s make this month one to remember, even if we only have a few more days to embrace it. With the exception of one day, we can still celebrate September for what it is positively worth.
Before conducting extensive research regarding the month of September, I had no appreciation of how important this month is to our nation and what we fail to celebrate daily. September is Fall Hat Month. So, even if you are a judge working a civil trial, you are allowed to wear a zany hat. This may lighten the tone of the divorce proceedings.
September is also International Square Dancing Month. This brings back wonderful memories of being forced by your Physical Education teacher in the fifth grade to go round and round with some girl or guy you don’t wish to go around with in public and vice versa. We thought of it negatively because the P.E. teacher hadn’t properly informed us it was International Square Dancing Month. (they may have missed that class as well) This Friday, for all corporate offices normally requiring employees to wear ridiculous Hawaii T- shirts, you can either take the day off, or get ready for a good old fashioned ho down in some cubicles.
I like this one: National Courtesy Month. Whatever level of courtesy I must display during this month, by God, I am going to perform my duties properly, even if it means tipping my hat to a relief pitcher from the New York Yankees.
You can’t help but love this one: National Blueberry Popsicle Month. I don’t care if you are a Mayan or live in an igloo, you better end up with blue lips or an aqua blue tongue just once during this sacred month, and you better do it with a frozen smile on your face.
For my wife and me, this last one is the most ironic, because it is not a month, but a specific day of September we must celebrate: September 13th is Blame Someone Else Day! Yayyyyy! This day, no fooling, was the day my wife and I celebrated our third year anniversary. It was also Friday the 13th. Now, that’s rich. If you forgot to celebrate that day, you are allowed to blame it on your wife for not reminding you.
Deeply into the month of September, we recognize it marks the beginnings of a wide variety of interests for so many. We have the Major League Baseball playoffs, college football, professional football, Fall weather and the Sunday crockpot. All of them gathering together just for us so we can look forward to not just September, but also the months to come where fans can cram their bellies and live vicariously through their favorite teams and players. September may be the last time we can kayak in the rain or take a snapshot of a bird in a waterfall before the snow falls, or we can equally shoot the edible bird with a shotgun and leave the kayaker the hell alone.
Embrace this month and the following ones. We are all but freeloaders. You may end up wondering why this month brings more happiness than even Thanksgiving, but it will provide pious ammunition when you are asked at the dinner table what you are thankful for, making everyone uncomfortable. Amen.