Yellow Bellies

Sadly, I’m admitting to the world my teeth are not as white as the wooden ones displayed by George Washington Bush in Death Valley Forge.

My wife just purchased me some Colgate. She was sold at “Yellow Enhancing.” She went on and on and on saying her husband was suffering from stupidity. Britt also said my teeth looked like I’d eaten mustard for twenty straight years at a minor league baseball game on one dollar dog and beer night before the caveman years.

I additionally developed a severe, and unusual case of canine jaundice,

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