On God’s Seventh Inning Stretch, he created T-Ball. It was one of his many mistakes. Actually, that’s not entirely true. He probably was just messing with us when he gave us the gift of the Tee, but, as usual, we abused it.
Never having played in the rough and tumble, hard knocks world of T-ball, I still know a thing or two about it. Watching it was penance for many of the sins I’ve committed.
A tee was meant to be used as a training tool, increasing the chances that an inexperienced batter could hit a line drive. This is when God said, “Hey, baseball ain’t that easy. Don’t hit the tee, my son, hit the ball.”
This created controversy amongst the players’ mothers and fathers when their children weren’t successful. Some of the mothers and fathers were logical. “It’s sitting right on top of the tee. Just hit it.” Others made certain their child would never be competitive again. “Great Job. You didn’t hit the ball or the three foot tall tee, but you did hit air, so run…..run…..run… (to a base you didn’t earn)!”
Trying to create an organized, or engaging event out of T-Ball is simply a crime for those who are in attendance and fantastically ridiculous if you think your five year old will learn something about the true form of baseball from this “S–t” show.
This is when parents began sacredly believing this gift was delivered by Him so youngsters could be humiliated in front of their mothers and fathers wishing they could actually hit a ball off of that tee. If you know anything about baseball, or the Bible, the tee is punished along with the child, yet the ball is set free, dropping majestically into the dirt in front of the batter’s 400 dollar nike cleats.
As Tom Hanks stated in “A League of Their Own”, there is no crying in baseball, but, according to God, I guess there is crying in T-Ball.