Twix and Six

Starting gambling at the tender age of six, I knew there was more than money to quench one’s wallet, or lack there of.  I had no wallet, let alone money, but I longed for the almighty Twix candy bar.  Making a wager for a candy bar was worth the risk of receiving a spanking for gambling a dollar I didn’t possess.  However,  I knew my father was good for the buck if I lost a bet….as long as I made his bed and dusted the house.

In 1979, prior to the Super Bowl, I marched over to our neighbor’s house and made a wager with the father of some of our great friends.  He knew I loved football, and he knew I was six, but he also knew I liked chocolate more than money.  Additionally, he clearly knew I was ignorant.

Fortunately, he and my father were good friends, so he knew I was solid for the dollar if I lost.  If I won, I knew he was solid for the Twix.  This was hardcore Locust Street gambling.

The Pittsburg Steelers ( the steel curtain) were playing the Los Angeles Rams.  The Steelers won and I lost.  I was good for the dollar after making Dad’s bed while dusting a five thousand square foot house.

One week later, there was a Twix candy bar lying on our porch.  My father required that I  return the Twix to our neighbor, as a bet is a bet and you have to stand tall (or short) regarding how shrewd or dimwitted your bet may be.  Reluctantly, I did return the Twix, yet our delightful neighbor denied he had purchased it for me.  It further solidified my father’s friendship with our neighbor.  I still have the Twix. I keep it in my glove compartment.  That’s B.S…I crammed that cookie caramel chocolate finger sandwich in my mouth on his porch like it was my last supper.

Other than friendly bets, I don’t gamble anymore.

 

 

Heisman Upsets (friendly sibling rivalries)

There is a person in my family who owes me 100 fake dollars on a bet he lost.  I haven’t heard from him since we made the fake bet.  That was 20 some odd hours ago.  You may be thinking, “What in the hell is a fake bet”?   Actually, it’s merely a friendly bet.  Since betting is illegal in certain areas, and neither of us have ever crossed the law, we often make wagers in a magical world filled with Monopoly money and Leprechauns. We are also quite competitive, so actual forms of currency don’t apply.  We just want to win.  The phone call conceding  the bet is sufficient.  It makes one of us sleep well at night knowing the older or younger brother has lost confidence.  That’s invaluable in any relationship:  making ones you love lose confidence.

Allow me to provide a lesson regarding gambling.  Using words and phrases such as, “Guarantee”, “Lock”, or “Stone Cold Lock” usually result in you being in the backseat of the gambling God of cars.  Sometimes, you may find yourself  in the trunk.   I know, I’ve been there many times, figuratively.  This family member has placed me there many times, but yesterday’s Heisman bet was certainly a guarantee for my brother.  He sealed his destiny with some of his statements, and lost, and Luck certainly wasn’t in his corner.

Be careful what you “guarantee”.  Most importantly, bet on yourself.  That’s the only only one you can truly count on……other than cards.

Ben

PGS: (post gambling syndrome)  If one of my siblings has any contact with a man named M. Thew, tell him this is dedicated to him.  Also, tell him to help me get the bookies off my tarnished bottom.