Pumpkin Police

Sarcasm is a wonderful weapon when it’s used properly upon others.  When it’s tossed back at you with wicked power, it can be equally effective.

I write so I can help pay the rent.  If I wrote to make a ton of money, I don’t think I’d see, hear, or have any contact with earthlings I enjoy……i.e…..relatives, friends, and even an occasionally friendly neighbor.

Britt (AKA…Yoko Gannon) and I recently moved to a new neighborhood, thus befriending and defriending members of the community.  Sir John Ellingson and his wife have welcomed my wife, Britt, and I into this humble neighborhood.  His wife, Megan, and their daughter, Emma (AKA…Peanut) have also made us feel welcome.  They bake us magnificent banana bread, prepare terrific omelets and invite us to their daughter’s dance and ballet classes.  Genuinely, and without any sarcastic tone, they are great people.  John actually irritates me because he is taller, maintains more hair, stays in shape, has a good job, is a great father and is just generally better than me.  He also has a sense of humor and sense of dry wit, making mine sound infantile.

Britt, Megan, John, Emma, Chris, (John’s friend) and I had some appetizers the other night at their house.  John was a bit irritated with me because I don’t update my blog enough.  I tried to explain why my updates aren’t always up to date.  My editor always wishes to read my blogs before sending them to the world.

John is a man who knows I stay at home attempting to write.  He also knows there are times when I just get to take the dogs to the park and prepare dinner for Britter Bear Gannon. One recent day, while suffering from writer’s blockage, I purchased two pumpkins so I could surprise Britt with my carving talents.  Britt happily and proudly described my artistic prowess with the pumpkins to John.  In a needle like fashion, John responded, much like the mayor of West Seattle,….”so Ben just sits at home and carves pumpkins all day”?

I don’t get offended easily.  I get offended really easily.  If I had balls below the waist, it would have been considered a low blow.  Since I don’t have balls below the waist, I merely interpreted it as verbal slander.

John, my new, and perhaps ex friend, works long hours. I wave him goodbye when he leaves for work.   Other than making fun of baseball teams I root for, he supports my writing and motivates me to be a good husband, and eventually and hopefully, some day, a good father.  There will never be another “Peanut”, but maybe someday, Britt and I will have a Cashew.

I shall now provide a picture displaying the 8 working hours, or 8 seconds it took to create these Halloween monuments.  Easter Island, The Pyramids of Egypt, The Sphincter, all close seconds to my master pieces.  These may be the eighth and ninth wonders of the world.  How many wonders of the world exist?  Sorry.  I don’t trust Wikipedia.

12 thoughts on “Pumpkin Police

  1. Not quite the great pumpkin, but a valiant effort on your part Ben. I look like Anthony Perkins practicing the shower scene when I carve a pumpkin so I have turned that task over to the kids.

  2. I am also commenting to make you know what a really good encounter our princess enjoyed studying your blog. She realized plenty of details, which include what it is like to possess an amazing teaching character to get many others without difficulty completely grasp several complex topics. You undoubtedly surpassed our expectations. Thank you for distributing the insightful, healthy, edifying and as well as easy tips on that topic to Julie.

  3. I don¡¯t even know how I stopped up here, however I thought this publish used to be good. I do not know who you are but definitely you are going to a well-known blogger when you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  4. Im impressed, Making it very say. Really never do I encounter a weblog thats both educative and entertaining, and i want to explain, you will have hit the nail in the head. Your concept extremely good; the catch is one important thing does not enough consumers are talking intelligently about. I am just very thrilled i stumbled across this inside my ask for something with this.

  5. hope you never stop! This is exactly possibly the best blogs That i have ever read. You need some mad skill here, man. I just hope that you really dont lose your thing because youre definitely one belonging to the coolest bloggers nowadays. Please stick with it because internet needs you and your family spreading the word.

  6. I wanted to thank you a lot more for that amazing site you have created here. It is full of ideas for those who are really interested in that subject, in particular this very post. Youre really all amazingly sweet and thoughtful of others as well as reading your blog posts is a superb delight in my opinion. And such a generous gift! Mary and I are going to have fun making use of your suggestions in what we must do in a few days. Our listing is a distance long and simply put tips might be put to excellent use.

  7. Thanks for sharing superb informations.Your site is so cool.Im impressed by the details that you have on this web site.It reveals how nicely you understand this subject.Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles.You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched everywhere and simply could not come across.What an ideal website.

  8. Pingback: lEdkdhCD4o

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *