Nine One One Nick

Years ago, there was a TV show titled, “Kids say the Darndest Things”.  This was a gentle way of avoiding the obvious, more honest title, “Kids say the dumbest things”.  For adults, we do observe many cute phrases spewing from the mouths of children.  Additionally for adults, we observe many stupid phrases spilling out of fellow adults’ jaws.  I am no exception to this rule, and I have often been on both sides.  Yet, this little story is not about me.  It is about a young man known as Nicholoueaus Young.  Since his parents were so elated and delusional at the time of his birth, they couldn’t imagine a more difficult spelling for the name Nick.  Or, they just wanted to despise teachers for inevitably misspelling his name while grading his papers.  I will spare us all pain, suffering and glaucoma by only using the name Nick.

Only knowing Nick as an adult and my brother in law, I can confirm that he is now a very intelligent, witty, hard working man currently serving in the Navy fighting to maintain our freedom.  Stories I hear about him as a youth display him as a fun, silly young boy who possessed a great deal of knowledge regarding his childhood rights, yet didn’t know much about phones.  Evidently, Nick had, at the tender age of 5,6, or 7, committed the heinous crime of using a permanent marker to create his own form of graffiti on the hallowed walls of his home.  Details are a bit sketchy here, but apparently his parents sent him to his room.  For a young boy who wishes to be outside pretending he is Indiana Jones, this is much like being sent to San Quentin.  The punishment didn’t seemingly fit the crime.

Knowing his rights as a child, Nick was convinced this was a form of child abuse.  Thus, in a fit of rage, he screamed, “THIS IS CHILD ABUSE………..WHAT’S THE NUMBER FOR NINE ONE ONE?????????!!!”.

I wish he would have called 411 for directory assistance to ask about that strange location of 911.  Now that would have been simply rich.

Side note:  Upon being released from his bedroom , his record and room remained clean…………right up to the moment when he was upset at his parents once again and poured cologne into his step-dad’s Stetson Cowboy hat.  So, faced with two choices, being confined to a bedroom for the remainder of his life or joining the Navy, Nick chose the Navy.

I wonder if they still have brigs??

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