Ghosts, posts and T1 (Stephen) – Part I

Being terrified of ghosts is not necessarily a weakness in a man, if you can call me that.  Yet, I don’t wish to see a ghost, have dinner with a ghost, high tea with a ghost, fly in an airplane with a ghost, or receive vaccinations from a ghost.  This is something I am neither proud nor ashamed of, just the fact, man. They simply scare me, and I have no faith in swinging like a wild man with fists which fly through the opponent whilst frightening the benjesus out of me.

My brother, Steve, however, fears nothing, (or at least that’s the way I wish to think of him)….including ghosts.  He’s the Spokane version of Chuck Norris.  Steve is the only man who haunts ghosts.  As a witness to this, I can also attest to it while staying in a hotel with him, my brother, Tom, and Steve’s son, my nephew, Pat.

The three of us ventured to the McMenamin’s Edgefield hotel in Oregon because it is supposedly haunted.  Coincidentally, my brother, Mike, was also getting married in the same city….. at the same hotel’s ballroom.  We paid homage to my brother, Mike, and his sweet bride, Brenda, by attending the celebration because we love them both, and there was free beer.  Our main quest, however, since on the way, we could not find the elusive Sasquatch was to find a friendly ghost at this exclusive hotel. Keep in mind, my fear of ghosts, goblins, demons, and Sasquatch remains, yet in the presence of Steve, I’m not really afraid of any of those supposed myths.  To this very day, I believe the reason we didn’t witness any of these conundrums was because they were just too afraid to witness him.  This is a sad point because he is one of the most affable and funny earthlings I have ever met.  Sasquatch and a ghost would be ever most happy to meet and have a beer, or 200, with my brother.  They just have to be good bartenders and not steal from him.  That’s the point where he taunts, haunts, and scares.  Additionally, it’s the reason why I’ve only stolen (a fifth of good whiskey…and I have an excuse) from him once.   Lessons are learned quickly from Steve.  We are very close brothers to this day.  I’ve just moved to a different area code.

Now the quick story begins.  As curious and inebriated gentlemen do, they seek ghosts in hotels claiming their existence.  Tom, the least gooned up and most logical man at the time merely scoffed at the presumption.  Steve just wanted to go to bed and didn’t care if a ghost crawled in with him and kissed him goodnight.  Pat, my nephew, was definitely on a quest and didn’t care if the poltergeist was the size of the Statue of Liberty.  I followed him because one: I was intoxicated and, two, he is the son of Steve.

Chapter T2 will have to follow.  Concerning Steve’s life, it is like Star Trek…continuing and continuing and continuing……but in a wildly fun, inspiring, and personally memorable way.  Live long and foster.  This story is close to being finished.  Others may provide different perspectives.  None of which, other than mine, will be accurate.

78 thoughts on “Ghosts, posts and T1 (Stephen) – Part I

  1. Wow Ben that is a great intro I woke up my two children with hysterical laughter when I read “Spokane version of Chuck Norris” you nailed it. I once received a half an hour lecture from my father on strength training with your mind instead of using weights, bands or anything else that might be used to physically gain muscle. Watch out bowflex T1 just mindflexed. The strength training lecture was then followed by a shorter but equally as crucial lecture in my upbringing on the topic of lava viscosity. I can’t wait to read whats next keep em coming!!!

    • Pat, please keep posting, because you had my surgery recovering wife laughing after her being sedated for the last 24 hours. Britt says, “Thank you”. Was the Spokane Chuck Norris speaking of drinking the lava? If he was, he was probably laughing about the viscosity coming out his ass. Have a great day. Britt and I will be viscosity laughing ourselves while the Seajokes lose to N.O. I am so sick of going to Safeway and seeing idiots wearing Hasselbroken shirts. HOWEVER, as a former addicted gambler, with this weather and Seattle’s Bro Jo, it wouldn’t surprise me if they covered the spread.

      PGS. Don’t gamble.

    • Strength training with your mind. I smell a best seller.

      As far as lava viscosity goes your father often displays uncanny carnal knowledge of pyroclastic flows which we he states as being “formed by, or involving fragmentation as a result of volcanic or igneous action”.

  2. Funny stuff. I vividly remember the time, at your parents house, when you convinced me that several members of your family (or maybe just your mom, the only member of your family whose word is gold) had seen a ghost in that room behind the downstairs kitchen. Everytime I walked by that room and the door was open, on the way to the bathroom, I was ready for a physical enounter with whatever lurked behind those doors (ghosts, goblins, or Greg). One night on my way to the bathroom, I remember sprinting past that door in fear I may have seen something on the way into the bathroom. Did that room ever evoke similar feelings with anybody else in your family? Or was it all a hoax? If it was a hoax, then I bit, hook, line and stinker.

    • I love it! Thank you for replying. You raise a great question. At the time, who was more scary, Greg, or a ghost? Greg would be a great ghost for me because he would be the stand up Jim Gaffigan of ghosts. He’d just initially scare you and then make you laugh.

  3. According to Mother, our beloved Grandma Dot saw a little ghost girl wearing a pinafore run out of the downstairs room. I am almost sure this was not Greg at the time–he was deathly afraid of that room–again according to Mother. FYI..Greg also screamed like a girl (according to his young son Luke) on the Tower of Terror ride at Disneyland.

    • You are both funny and accurate with your analysis. Greg would only prefer that room to our basement because he enjoyed ghosts rather than Tom sweeping the dust off his feet in the top bunk after strolling twenty feet across the floor. Tom’s act of disgust was far less agreeable than facing a disagreeable apparition.

  4. Now. Ben and I may be the only two people in this world, well semi-logical people, that can actually speak Sasquatch language. You can ask the many students that have ambled through our adjoining classrooms over the past many years, most of which have hilarious recounts of the many ridiculous activities Mr. Gannon and I were able to somehow get away with while still receiving a paycheck (see the orange exploding against a wall for example). Ben is much better at retelling the many wonderful stories of our teaching time than I.

    However, I would pay very handsome cash to sit and watch a good conversation with the mysterious creature, Sasquatch, and Steve while sitting at the bar of the Two Cs. This would no doubt begin with great stories, much laughter, and a great deal of beverage being consumed. At some point, the discussion would lead to wrestling and Sasquatch would piss Steve off somehow and a fracas would ensue. It would involve a low level single and people scrambling in all directions not to be caught in the mishap.

    Any takers on the winner??? I have 50 cents on Steve.

    • Well stated, and I love it. I think you are inaccurate with only two details. It was an apple you tossed at me in class, and Steve would be the first to enter the Sasquatch den offering, depending on the gender,offer him or her a beverage. Then, if the elusive biped didn’t accept, Steve would deliver a hip throw only Dan Gable could appreciate.

    • Just to get the record straight.

      Bigfoot does not aknowledge the existance of Steve Gannon. He claims him to be and I do quote “merely an apparition of the minds of people that have most certainly imbibed themselves to the point of creating a mythological creature that cannot possibly exist.” Crantz, Grover. On Sasquatch: My conversations with hairy bipeds said not to walk amoung us. Boston: Back Bay Books, 1989.

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