A Pony’s Tale (I’ll have another t-one for the road)

Most of my writing consists of stories regarding my life or others’ lives.  They are observations and sometimes manifestations of everyday occurrences.  My life is a bit mundane, but when you are truly fascinated with a man you believe shouldn’t exist, you are compelled to write about him.  I’m a writer.  Therefore, I love writing about a man I know quite well.

Writing about him a year ago, you may remember him as T-One.  Not pronouncing his S’s properly, when in school, upon asked about his name, he was not “Stephen”  He was T-One.   T-One is his alias just prior to entering his phone booth, which also maintains an alias……His Tavern.  This is where T-one becomes Steve…….or Tooperman.

My life has been blessed by this man who, when entering a room, can light up the atmosphere like a nineteen seventy joint.  His smile is genuine, his laughter is sincerely infectious, and his love for those surrounding him is real.  So is HE.  He’ll make an effort to stop at any crosswalk for any form of life.  However, when someone chooses to disrespect him, he runs into a tavern, changes his clothes, turns a shade of green, and places those who have cross walked him into another shade of green.

This is folklore for the boring life I lead.  Steve is a man amongst gentlemen.  He’s one of the finest gentlemen I’ve crossed.  But, I wish those who read this take heed, for the most kindest, forthright, and generous of human beings can change his kindness channel to the rage channel with the flick of his wrist.

Here’s the lack of punchline.  A man wearing a pony tail (that’s funny right there)  walks into a bar and proceeds to drink a beer and talk at the same time.  He gurgles and gobbles while the owner of the bar, who maintains his true identity known as “Steve” watches and waits for him to shut up.  It never happens.  Therefore, Steve tells him to shut up and drink his beer.  The patron then proceeds to approach another Tooper Hero known as Turner.  Pony Tail patron tells Turner he is going to beat Steve up.  Turner turns to him and says, “you may want to rethink that, buddy.”  Pony Tail then decides, with no infinite wisdom to approach, accost, and alleviate my brother, Steve, from his simple world.  That’s when Steve enters the barroom bathroom, takes off his hat and becomes Tooperman.  Tooperman then, over the course of maybe five seconds, escorts this patron out by the use of his Pony Tail.  Tooperman always finds a weakness in anyone, just so he can enjoy the weekend.  The Pony’s tail was this guy’s Achilles heal.

As a man who doesn’t approve of violence (not quite a pacifist), Tooperman decided to use this pony tail as his weapon of mass confusion.  He whipped him around the bar like a carnival pinwheel while, without hurting him, stated, “You don’t come into someone’s bar and try to get in a fight with a pony tail!”  The man was escorted by Tooperman out with not a person or Tooper Hero getting hurt.

The A moral to the story is………and lack of punchline, don’t enter a bar with a pony tail anticipating a fight when it’s not the owner’s first rodeo.  You will lose.

Enough about anger and good management, let’s watch some baseball.  Now that’s FUN!





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