Other than Pearl Harbor and poor driving skills, I have nothing against the Japanese. I have everything against a team in Seattle, Washington, located in America for having baseball’s opening day in anywhere but America. The Seattle Mariners are playing the first game of the season in Japan. This is America’s official pastime, but it seems to me, for the team I root for, since I reside in the city, it is America’s official posthumous time. The first game of the season is usually the first and last for our fairly ridiculous sport crazed city.
I don’t give a crap what people say about the NFL, NBA, soccer and any other sport, baseball is America’s favorite pastime. (Disclaimer: I love each one with the exception of the NBA and soccer.) Opening day is special, and it belongs to baseball. It doesn’t belong in Japan where I have to set my alarm clock for three AM, instead of the usual three PM schedule. This is truly unholy on one of the most holiest of days. My wife will have to hit the seventh inning snooze button when the Mariners, with severe jet lag, are losing in that inning, just around seven AM.
The official owner of the Mariners lives in and is from Japan. Qualified sources have informed me he won’t be attending the game. I think he is an elderly owner, but I don’t give a shit if someone has to bring him into his luxury box seat by way of a forklift while he’s collecting money on a pallet selling Ichiro jerseys. He should be in attendance.
This may sound a bit moronic and immature, but I celebrate this day much like people celebrate Christmas and Easter. I celebrate the Lord’s birth and His resurrection, but I really don’t look forward to the presents or the eggs……unless they are deviled. Baseball’s opening day? That’s what I look forward to, but not in Japan at three in the morning.
I hope you all have a great opening day. I won’t. Hot dogs and beer don’t fare well with my stomach that early.