Christmas trees are much like women. They require tenderness, love, and nurturing, but when drinking too much, they tend to fall down. Much like women, trees need to drink. Fortunately for trees, they only need water. Merely providing 8 ounces of water for our 767 foot parched evergreen, it dropped on the floor like a sorority girl taking two shots of whatever. We recovered some ornaments, but spent several minutes wondering why we purchased this large bit of lumber. We spent several other minutes discussing our marital status. Divorce is a tricky theme during the Holiday Season. In fact, it’s a bit tricky during any season……even if it’s baseball season.
We managed to laugh our way through it, kissed and made up, just before the tree fell once again. I am not kidding. Economically, we are screwed. If we purchase one more ornament, lawyers will be pounding on our door. Anyone showing up for the Christmas dinner better not expect any gifts. They should expect a disgruntled family of dogs and cats living happily ever after. I hope.