Cereal :(

So I was sitting around drinking breast milk the other day and I thought to myself, at 24 years old, this may be a bit too old to drink breast milk.  I am a Master Jedi when it comes to doing stupid things.  Allow me to explain.

My mother-in-law, sister-in-law, including her fascinating infant, were in town over last week and we had a magical few days together. Britt’s nephew, who we shall refer to as Ty Bone, a six month old dynamo, became a bit fussy about eating. Ty Bone required a bit of coaxing to finish his breakfast one morning. Remembering the days of my brother, Steve, eating dog food from our mother’s kitchen, I decided to take over, thinking Gerber’s Cream of Wheat couldn’t be that awful. Evidently,when children, which I have none of, see an imbecile eating something, they tend to throw down their arms and eat it too.  Ty Bone needed to eat.  While being a Great Uncle, I showed this beautiful young boy how to eat. After sampling Ty Bones brunch, there was a tang I couldn’t quite identify.  It turns out that “Gerber’s Cream of Wheat” was actually cream of  boob.  I didn’t know mothers placed breast milk in baby food.  As a simpleton, I only thought babies drank the stuff in closed doors, or solitary confinement.

Trish, my sister-in- law, was extremely kind and funny when she said, “Do you know what you just ate?”  I told her I ate some Gerber’s food to persuade your son to eat.  She then told me what additional garnishes were sprinkled in the food.  I then excused myself to the nearest bathroom.

Not only embarrassed, accidentally drinking breast milk for the second time, I felt horrible for Trish’s husband, currently fighting for us overseas, not being the first adult to try it out.  Sorry, Nick.

As a male married with no children, I was forced to further research this important subject.  When I do research, I text, tweet, or rotary dial certain qualified individuals possibly possessing more knowledge about profound subjects.  The responses were astonishing.  I did not know this was a common occurrence for mankind.  I will again change names to protect the disgusting fathers and husbands.

Pat:  Oh yeah, I tried it.  It was a little thick, but I drink whole milk, and her’s is a lot cheaper.

Chris: I need it before I go to sleep at night.  (he is thirty years old)

Ben:  I am going to stick with Lucerne Skim Milk.

Ty Bone:  Just give me a boob and I’m fine.  Don’t give me any of that Gerber crap.

I am so glad I don’t remember my days as an infant.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Cereal :(

  1. Tricia says:

    Tho it may have been an “accident”, Ty Bone still has nightmares of his big uncle Ben sneaking in and stealing his cereal sprinkled with boob milk.

  2. Mari Rances says:

    Wow, amazing weblog structure! How long have you ever been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The full glance of your website is magnificent, let alone the content material!

  3. Hello, pleasant blog with pleasant information. I must say i enjoy re-occurring here often. There does exist a particular matter that riles me which happens to be the misfunctioning of comment posting. I usually can 500 error message, and have absolutely to type the entry double.

  4. You have posted some decent stuff on the matter, are you working to do a FAQ regarding this theme in the future, as i have some more questions that will be common to other readers.

  5. Hello my friend! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and come with almost all vital infos. I¡¯d like to peer more posts like this .

  6. Good job here. I actually enjoyed what you had said. Keep going because you undoubtedly bring a new voice to this topic. Not many people would say what you have said and still made it interesting. Properly, at least I am interested. Can not wait to see much more of this from you.

  7. I have been reading your entries all through my morning holiday, and I will have to admit the entire article has been very enlightening and really well written.

  8. I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high quality articles or blog posts in this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site. Reading this information So i am happy to exhibit that I’ve a very just right uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I such a lot no doubt will make sure to don’t forget this web site and give it a look on a constant basis.

  9. Wonderful work! This is the type of info that should be shared around the web. Shame on Google for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my site . Thanks =)

  10. Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this web site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched everywhere and just could not come across. What a perfect web site.

  11. Pingback: gravel marks

  12. Pingback: Phentermine 37,5 mg

  13. Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful post.
    Thank you for providing this information.

  14. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate
    you writing this post plus the rest of the website
    is very good.

  15. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.|

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *